Bear's Diary

I clung to you like a shadow afraid to leave, afraid to do anything alone It was love, yes — but formed from fear and need, not the quiet kind that stays whole I asked for distance, yet still I reached because my heart was learning — to protect itself  while pretending to let go We were a moment, intense and I loved you then,  for the way I needed to love,  Not forever Just for then.

I see you’re having fun, free, careless I used to shake, my heart used to quake But now I just sip my cola, with popcorn beside You said your words, lived your way I wrote my thoughts in secret notes I cried, I trembled, I screamed inside — But now? I just laugh at your chaos Thanks for the lessons For showing me your patterns, And for the reminder, that My peace was never yours to control.

Following a theater that isn’t mine Not taking a role, just purely a watcher Watching many scenes that’re relatably funny,  And often unrelatably yet still amusing First time i knew about it, i’d have destroyed the stage Second time i watched, it made me laugh out loud. …………… Guess the timing is timing for me, ‘Till i become a whole again, untouchable ‘Till watching them together isn’t painful anymore But a series that is sometimes entertaining, yet doesn’t make me fade my empathy away I didn’t mean to be rude, Just expressing something from my point of view At least thanks — For giving me another reason to come back on my whole self again Thanks to both of you.

I found you as someone that I can hold on to, not for your hands, but only for your presence I’ll support and pray for you from afar telling the universe to hold you so you won’t feel alone Not because I’m giving up, but I guess you already read the signs I sent through the air I just let you be, letting you decide for everything that comes to you  — i ncluding me.

I believe in fate, so I trust the timing Even not always do to trust Realize that I’ve already become myself before,  Now I need to do more and more Do more to know, respect, and love Because I always deserve those.