Bear's Diary

I've been questioning myself these recent days Am I still loving you or what? 'Cuz all about us were only in the past But how I write such love poems when all I have are only in mind? I still got nothing physically, but I got a whole damn thoughts inside How I romantizing all of the words, when reality is a place for filling my need first? Practically bring this topic up, cuz I have to make clear about what I wrote before about us Again, about feelings are something that got me think of mystery So so please understand, that I never doubt all about love 'Cuz it might be that I doubt me and the situations I'm in But, other than that I still find no answers I just creating a bit hypothesis, not just this time but all the whole time .                       - yourbear

I'm so full of paradox Within you I wish I would find peace, That would naturally calm down the anger That would automatically hold on the insecurities That would slowly minimize and heal the wounds, and That would voluntarily hug on the sadnesses Within you I wish I would find peace, between All of the happy moments I'm so full of paradox that often got me time for supporting the growth of hatred on me I'm so full of paradox, so I wish I would find peace Within you.                                                - yourbear

I'll visit your space frequently I'll listen to your songs every day, even when you all said that you have to go I'll hug the moments you share I'll trace the lines you draw all of those, virtually No matter how far you'll go I promise I won't turn my back and I'll facing you when you come around Like your songs that always have its way to entertain me, Like your stories you'd told that have its way to light me up, I'll stay at our universe Like the lyrics in your every songs that always got me deep, Like the meaning of one of your song "Please, Don't Change" that leading me to write this I'll stay here Even when you still don't know me, Even when you still call me by your fans name I'll stay here and won't change Fell free to come back anytime.                         - yourfan

I always run and hide, even right now, I still want to run and hide, again The problems are beyond the thoughts and limitless I wouldn't looking for unsure things If there's a river afront, I might feel I would jump when I actually wouldn't and later on I might be drowning I wouldn't compare with somebody here I only want to face all of this nightmares and daydreams I'm sure I'm worth enough to feel at ease though not today, but tomorrow I will, right? I'd love that I might forget all about the bad and remembering the good parts only. When I'm at ease,  I'll call your name Then I'll tell you all of the good When I'm at ease, I'll call you,  one more time.                                                 - yourbear

I build a wall, I draw a line, between us I remember about what you said We shouldn't keep secrets between us, right? I left with no choice right now So, I'll stick around with me I prefer for not talking rather than said something bad, actually I had a rough time before saying all of this as conclusion, honestly You're not trying to understand me right now, right? I still prepared and asked you about those, Though I already know you would said that, seriously I said to myself, that I wouldn't be you about those point I'll stay silent, rather than giving someone expectation that we couldn't  I know I'll hate my self more after this, What do you know about me? about the way how I think? about the way how I talk? or what? I am so rude right now, right?                        - yourbear

Listening music in both ears, Feeling like the music is a way I got entertained, like you are singing to me, for me Every day its my only companion, At the type of my various mood, its still with me like confession its my only boundary When the nights feels so lonely, And the midnight coming slowly trying to drain me, like lullabies that leading me to close my eyes At some times, We're singin' together, Saying out loud about our days But still, its get me addicted like someone singin' me some songs I love.                                                        - yourbear

Seriously and again, Its so complicated if we all try to interefe someone's life Their path that they chose were never easy, even the plan for choosing again I really don't have much to say rather than, "thank you for survive 'till this day" I really know nothing before, even you We learn a lesson about life, once again I know that you'll never expect me to speak about this, but I seriously respect you for this and also for anothers that will you choose next I'm glad you find happiness after I'm glad you try to understand us I'm glad you find us again Also, I am glad that you speak to us and for us May you have more brave for days ahead, also me May you have very good days ahead, also me I'm glad that we met again for something that maybe some people no longer have anymore I'm glad that we're part of each other.                                              - your....

Just realizing, that All my words are my monologue All the words that written are words that I really wanna say for myself Its the dialogue with my self inside that have been silent the whole time I'm glad I found a way, to speak more with and for my self.                                                                            - yourbear

Hi, How are you? Firstly I wanna say sorry, because I'm not that good to stay in touch And thanks, for always try to reach me I have no idea about the details activity you've been doing since those days we're apart by distance But thanks again, that sometimes you tell me about what you've been up to Actually, I've been searching a word that will more meaningful than "thanks" But, I couldn't find untill now So, if there're some thanks in my writing about you It'll show how much thankful I am, to have you at whatever we called each other I'm saying all of those above,  meaning that you're worthy enough for me So, whatever days you've been going through I hope you'll fine after, even when I'm not around I know, my words are maybe much sincere than the acts that you ever saw, right? Pardon me for that, again. In this day of yours, I hope you have much good days ahead. And don't forget that I'll be there when you maybe ne...

Do you there? , waiting for me at the end of this bridge? Do you really waiting for me? To be a person that would brave, mature and ready for the world Do you? I feel like a child that just slowly learn how to walk, and you there at some centimeters apart afront waiting to be reached Is that true? But what if I couldn't do all of those and couldn't cross the bridge? Are you still waiting for me to finish eventhough need much of time? Am I sound so crazy?                         - yourbear